We listen all the time, and unless one is in school with "perfect" dictations NEVER heard in the real world, we've all heard some amusing and interesting things.

An amusing one I remember "Pelvic Exam: Tonsils are intact"

uhhhhh, doc, how in depth are patient's being examined? :p :p

I had this one the other day, from a urologist who was treating the male partner of an infertility couple to the (female) gynecologist who was treating the female partner:


"The final thing we talked about was his erectile dysfunction, which I know he has raised with you."

I changed the verb.

on a female patient who was born as a female; "Rectal exam: Patient's prostate feels somewhat boggy"

any more bloops??? lol. I've got a lot of laughs but still thirsty for more. haha.

OK, here's a real (and recent) sample of why every doc needs an MT and that automatic speech recognition crap is not as good as a working human brain..

"Patient was place in supine position .. and given an injection into the SI joint"
(supine would be laying flat on back.. to inject the SI's, the patient needs to be in PRONE position). The doc was glad I caught it and it is good for a little laugh

The latest to hit my ears was "The patient was fully dilated and fully effaced, so we ruptured her".

pop! goes the patient!

"patient is in excellent health with no major concerns except for ......" (a list of 20 diagnosis)

Here's a regular scenario I come across constantly with one:

"Patient complains of left hand pain present in his left hand."

If that isn't the ultimate in redundancy!

*(name below a common medname pseudonym, age disguised for HIPAA reasons, but you still get the idea)

" Mrs. Deborah Peel is a 72 year old teen in no acute distress. "

Where's a laughing rolling smiley when I need one!!!

Dunno if it's a blooper, but funny......

"Patient takes X-number of Vicodin per month for pain"

uhmm... ok, takes it for pain as opposed to ????

Oh my, what a long 6 weeks it has been. This is the first chance I've had to even get on and read posts and have missed you all.

Anyway, here's one I wanted to share... The patient developed a rash where their skin was touched by the sun - OUCH! How about "exposed" to the sun.

P.S. WhiteTiger,

Vicodin for pain? I thought that was for getting a buzz

^^ ooops! So by only taking it for pain, that would mean I'm not one who didn't take it properly before

Another funny - and this was vebatim on the recording:

"I have recommended something"

WOW! does it get any more in depth than that?

I have a patient today who is getting an MRI to see if there is anything going on in the brain

^^ hahahahaha ok here's one

Patient is excited about ((political party/event)) and talks about this today.
PSYCH: Judgment and insight not quite as intact as I thought... Just kidding "whitetiger", don't type that